4 Reasons A Surprise Proposal May Not Be Right For You & Your Partner

So I had a couple once, and I’m not going to name names or anything (if you’re reading this, I love y’all just the same, and your experience will help hopefully hundreds of others in your shoes) who booked a surprise proposal with me. As these mostly go, the guy got in contact, we set up the day and location and time and all that jazz. He proposed, she said yes, we took pictures, etc. etc. you know how the story ends. We had a wonderful session, they were a joy to photograph, and I thought their proposal was a 10/10. But at the end of the session, after going through all of the trouble and time and money to plan this whole extravagant ordeal, the guy looked at his new fiancé and said something that almost shocked me. He said, “I didn’t get to enjoy today at all.” In my head I was like “WHAT?!? Did I not do a good job??? Oh gosh this is the WORST.” And then she AGREED with him. “Honestly me too,” she said. 

Woah.

He went on to explain that he was so worried and nervous about today, and that it was such a big production, that he really didn’t get to enjoy it. This was news to my ears. And here’s why: I definitely go through a rollercoaster of emotions the day of a surprise proposal: excitement, nervousness (including the nervous pees of course), quiet confidence, joy and euphoria, and triumph to name a few in chronological order. But he was right...it was a big production. It was staged, planned, and executed to perfection, but it was a production. This specific proposal was at The Biltmore Estate (an Asheville classic) which add an extra element of planning with regards to tickets and parking and such.

So here’s the deal: I don’t think surprise proposal sessions are for everyone. I’m not saying you need to be woke to be able to see the truth, but for those that see a surprise proposal as a little corny or cheesy, it may not be for them. 

And that’s 1,000% okay.

That’s what I’m here today to talk about: A surprise proposal is not for everyone, and here are a few reasons why:

“Extravagant proposals are corny and fake”

I get it, some people think getting down on one knee and asking your partner to spend the rest of their life with you is cheesy. That’s most likely a topic you’ve discussed with your partner before, and so if you know they hate surprises and hate proposals, respect that.

“I don’t actually like having my picture taken”

Getting surprised with a photoshoot sounds like someone’s worst nightmare if they don’t like having their picture taken. I’ll leave it at that.

“I like to be forewarned for when professional pictures are happening.”

A big reason why I photograph so many Biltmore proposals is because 90% of those couples are already planning on being dressed well during their time on the estate. But what if you want a mountaintop proposal? Good luck getting your partner to dress like they’re going out to a fancy dinner when they’re “just going on a little hike.” Not suspicious at all... 

“I want my engagement to be just for the two of us”

A moment as special and intense and emotional as a proposal might be something you or your partner want to be private. This is very similar to the first look during a wedding, but can be shared with others, or done alone, with just the two of you.

So I know I’m not helping my cause of being a proposal photographer much with all this. So if you’re wanting an alternative, something that still captures this special and unique moment in you and your partner’s life story, my mind immediately goes to an engagement session the day after your proposal. This not only gives you the privacy of having your proposal be just for you two, but the emotions from the day before are still fresh, you have time to prepare, and everyone is on the same page. I love engagement sessions that really show off a couple’s personality too, so don’t be afraid to be different, or get creative!

I do hope after reading all this, that I’ve given you a different perspective to view the idea of a surprise proposal from. After all, every couple will make the decision that is best for them, and an informed couple is the goal. If you have any questions or comments about all of this, feel free to reach out! I always love chatting about these sort of things.

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Nick